- Did two loads of laundry
- Went food shopping
- Worked out
- Dropped two boxes full of donations off at the charity shop
- Cleaned the kitchen and bathroom and dusted the rest of the house
- Made and ate lunch
- Bought and set up my new phone
All by mid-afternoon. And it's supposed to be my 'day off'.
But it's what happened after that which has prompted me to write this post. Because, when I'd set up the phone, I spent a couple of hours playing around on it and ultimately got sucked into the rabbit hole that is YouTube. I'd been feeling really energised while I was up and about doing things, but as soon as I sat down, I just crashed. It must have been at least two hours I spent playing around and watching videos.
When I finally snapped out of it, I felt disappointed in myself - like I'd failed because I didn't get around to doing other things I'd planned, like the hoovering and writing a new blog post (which I'm doing now by the way [the blogging, not the hoovering, obvs] to make up for my 'laziness').
My problem is that I constantly need to feel like I'm doing something productive, and when I'm not I feel like I'm wasting time. If I'm not creating content or doing something else 'useful' I give myself a hard time.
When I don't have anything to do I get bored really easily. I'm happy while I'm crossing things off my to-do list for the day, but as soon as I get to the bottom of that list I'm like, "What now?" and feel at a loss. When I don't have the rest of the day planned out I end up feeling like a spare part - and even getting a little depressed.
I don't watch much TV because I feel like it's a waste of time; I could be cleaning something or working out instead. I don't read as many books as I'd like to because I'm thinking that I could be spending the same time writing. I'm my own worst enemy.
I'm sure it's a problem many people have. Especially women. My husband doesn't come home from work and feel the need to start scrubbing the floors or writing posts or responding to emails, so why do I? (Don't worry ladies, he does his fair share of the housework - it's just that when he gets home from a long day, he knows how to relax and unwind). I set such high standards for myself, like cooking dinner from scratch every night and not being able to go to bed while there are dirty dishes in the sink. As well as working full time, I want to be the perfect housewife and blogger. This can never realistically be achieved and ultimately, I'm setting myself up to fail.
But really, what's wrong with taking a break every so often? We all need to rest. We can't produce our best work if we don't step away from it and recharge our batteries from time to time. We need to learn to stop giving ourselves such a hard time if we decide to watch stupid videos on YouTube for a few hours, or even have a nap in the middle of the day. Rest, just like good nutrition and physical fitness, is crucial to health.
What are your thought on this? Are you good at taking time to relax or do you feel like you constantly have to be on the go?